Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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