I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
