hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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