Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize