i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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