So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
