pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
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