there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
