Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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