so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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