3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
