In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
