I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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