let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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