check it out our google latitudes are spooning
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
