And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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