I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
