WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
