i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
