as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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