I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
