don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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