I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
