totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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