Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
