So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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