he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
