Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
