I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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