do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
