I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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