I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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