what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
