Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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