my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
