i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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