well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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