whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
