oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
