absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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