May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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