I hate your face
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
