I'd wear matching sweaters with you
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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