Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
