OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You made out with two different species that night
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
