I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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