yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
