Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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