so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
