it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
