i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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