it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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