i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
operation have a gay friend backfired
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
